Willow, Julia Hoban

With only a driver's permit and a bad rain storm, Willow takes the plunge and drives her parents home after they've shared a bottle of wine at dinner. Unfortunately, for Willow, she crashes the car and both her parents are instantly killed. And so begins the story of Willow. Having trouble associating with people since the accident, she thinks everyone knows that she is a 'murderess', and when she spies cuts on the arms of people, also suspects them of being 'cutters'. Willow is now living with her brother, who is 10 years her senior. With a wife and baby to also look after, Willow senses that being thrown into this mix is not what her brother anticipated. Willow's brother get's her a job at the university library; a university where he is a junior professor. While at this job she meets, Guy. Who is taking college courses for extra credit in high school. The same high school that Willow attends as a junior. I really wanted to like this book. But I guess what I couldn't associate with was Willow's use of a razor to emit the pain that she suppresses so deep. She feels like a murderer and tells Guy flat out that she killed her parents. Expecting him to disappear and leave her be. But Guy doesn't, he sticks around to the point where he finds out her secret. That she uses a razor to cut herself to deal with the pain and depression of losing her parents in a horrific accident. Willow just annoyed me more than anything else. I found her whiny, belligerent, and in dire need of anti-depressants! Guy was too perfect, no faults (hence, my earlier post on faults in characters), nothing to make me care remotely for him as well. Why he puts up with Willow's behavior is perhaps beyond me. I understand that one wants to be the good guy and help out the person who is hurting, but if that person refuses the help-- then what is there? Willow deludes herself into thinking that her brother hates her for ruining his life and killing their parents, and when she can't handle anything, she locks herself away to cut. Yet, she carefully swabs antiseptic on the cuts so she doesn't get an infection? I'm giving this 3 bookmarks I've pondered this for nearly a week now... I might be a bit harsh, and will ponder this some more, but right now, migraine is settling in, and my bed is calling for me. PPS: 5 years ago when I was pregnant with Lily, my daughter, Rebecca (then 13) started cutting herself. Not with razors, but glass. It was her guidance counselor who told me and her stepfather. I'd never heard of such a thing and was amazed that she would even want to do something so disturbing, but she was mad at me for having another child (understandable), but when she told me and hubby that EVERYONE was doing it, I nearly flipped a lid! I read Patricia McCormick's Cut to better understand the allure of it. It still escapes me to this day.